Hello ♥️

I am sitting on a hotel bed w an overtired toddler so will try to introduce myself quickly ...

If I told you the most important things about me, I'd first tell you I am a Christian because it sustains everything about me. Then I would tell you I am a mom of five kids ages 4 to 16 (#5 was born when I was 45, making me a reproductive hero of sorts ha ha). Then I would tell you I am married to the same man for 17 years. I would then tell you what I might have put first except it doesn't seem to belong there ... I am a diarist.

In the weeks after I first met my husband in 2004, I was spurred by a rush of idealistic passion to express the glorious turn of my life events in writing. Back in 2004, paper was already passé even though there was not a good way to keep a digital diary at that time ... it was as if we couldn’t wait to stop using paper ... But I went to a stationary store and bought a 3"x5" liner book with a powder blue leather cover. ROMANCE.

From there, I filled 18 books and am working on the 19th. I kept a diary as a teenager so full of embarrassing revelations that I threw it away rather than let it exist. I knew my second diary could not be like that so I wrote it for an audience, presumably my (then) future children. I estimate I've written more than a million words and have filled something like 3,000 pages with memories and thoughts, ticket stubs, mediocre poetry, and bits and pieces of the places I have been (grit from the Berlin Wall, a pressed flower I found growing in the spectator stand of the coliseum).

Then, a year or two ago, I began to number and index the pages of each book. I wanted to create a simple way of using my diary as a reference tool by noting the pages on which important things happen (what year did we take the kids to Crete? How old is the dish washer?). I am currently indexing book #11 and I have had fun reading about my life and have discovered that the essence of who I was during various moments is written in "between the lines" so that I can track my evolution as a person. Very cool.

I've thought over the years of sharing my diary with others but have struggled with the idea of losing anonymity ... also, I am a very honest observer and the people in my life have monstrous moments which I dutifully record ... I do this, or ATTEMPT to do this, “through a lens of love". And yet this lens does little to obscure the less attractive sides of people I adore. Between you and me, I am a little monstrous at times ... this concerns me less because I believe you will see my rotten sides as the authentic facets of a real person.

Anyway ... my four year old will keep this intro short. I've decided to publish my books here, a few pages at once with deciphering as needed (my handwriting is not always the best) and also with an attempt to obscure details that will identify me.

I hope to get to know some of the people who get to know me ... so far there are zero because i have no subscribers but I'll get started first to see how it goes then introduce myself to trusted friends. Maybe then there will be a first stranger who subscribes!

So, with love!

Lisa